Although I’m not as into it now, I used to love photography…back in the days when we all used film I toted my heavy 35mm camera around. Now everyone—or so it seems—has a digital camera and/or one on their cell phone.
When I was very young my father was a photographer and he taught my brother the trade when he was in his late teens. As my brother developed a photography business I became his assistant—fetching his bag and other such glamorous activities. Along the way, I picked up an interest in photography.
I would take tons and tons of pictures at every event, outing, and holiday trip. After grappling with storing all the pictures, I started to ask myself how many pictures of any one event I really needed. Even 155 pictures of my trip to Yosemite National Park does not change the fact that it is in the past and sometimes enjoying myself rather that shooting pictures has made for better memories.
When I was almost 18, I went to my father’s funeral. It was probably only the second I had attended so I didn’t really know what was done at funerals. Just before leaving our grandmother’s home for the funeral, somehow I got a hold of my brother’s camera. I wasn’t sure what I would do with the camera; what would be an appropriate picture to take given the occasion? I knew that I would not take pictures of my father’s lifeless body. Not only did I consider that that morbid but I refused to even view my father’s body, let alone take a picture of him.
I don’t remember taking any of them, but all these years later I have pictures from my father’s funeral. And I’m glad that I do. They remind me of the early impact of our father’s death on me and my siblings. And the pictures remind me of who attended the funeral. I have forgotten most of the people who were there that day who were not photographed.
Recently I attended an “un-birthday party” in Tampa, an event held to honor the 153 children in this county who did not live to their first birthdays in 2007. Particularly striking was a presentation from a photographer from the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization. The organization exists to take pictures of babies of who have died at birth or who are expected to die soon after. Professional photographers donate their time and the photographs are free for the parents. As the organization’s website points out, taking a picture of such a baby is not necessarily on the minds of grieving parents. (Click here to see a Los Angeles Times story about bereavement photos).
But as you can imagine, a picture of a baby who only lives for a few hours, days, or months can be of tremendous value to many parents. Not so long ago, many hospitals did not allow or encourage parents to see these babies. Today, parents are encouraged to name their babies, to hold them—acknowledge their lives, however short -–as a way to help cope with their grief. With the professional quality pictures they receive from this organization, parents are granted an important memento that most new parents have or expect—wonderful pictures of their newborn.
Photographs have meanings attached to them. For parents who have lost a baby, a Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photograph underscores the fact that they did have a baby—for however short a period. The pictures serve as proof that their child existed; it is documentation that this child lived.
Indeed, a photographic image is worth a thousand words. Lately we’ve witnessed dust-ups over news organizations use of the wrong picture to illustrate a story. In an apparent effort to impress us with the size of a “tea party” in Washington protesting President Obama’s health care plan, several websites showed a picture that turned out to be 10 years old. The 10-year-old picture shows an enormous crowd that stretches for blocks, and that was described as being up to 2 million people. It should not surprise you that some conservative blogs reported this high number while mainstream news organizations said that the crowd was in the thousands. At issue here was the ability to say that a particularly high level of discontent exists among “the people”.
We shape pictures—by deciding what pictures we take and how we take them—but pictures also shape our worlds—whether in telling us how big a crowd is, reminding us of a poignant time, or providing tangible proof of a loved one’s life. Societal context and our own personal context shape how we think about these images.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy






I think pictures for my family are just to remember. I picture lets you remember every detail inside the frame. I remember looking at a picture from when my family had shag green carpet, my mom and i laughed for hours about how ugly that carpet was.
Posted by: Liz Oehler | November 30, 2009 at 09:28 AM
I agree that pictures are moments captured that last forever. In pictures, we see memories, we see what was and we compare that to what is. A photo is a personal story, even if it not personal to the photographer, someone takes that photo to heart or can remember that moment in their mind. What has been taken in a photo will last forever, whether it is taken down or dead, the picture is a memory, and memories can last as long as one seeks it out in their mind.
Posted by: Alexandra Tucker | November 30, 2009 at 10:02 AM
I agree wholeheartedly that pictures have a huge impact. They are memory keepers, and allow us to go back to a certain time in the past and give us a chance to reflect on that moment in time. However sad, happy, angry, or uneventful the picture is, it will bring a memory to mind. Pictures help us to remember the past and to remind us that those moments and those friends matter.
Posted by: Michelle Mander | November 30, 2009 at 10:09 AM
Just like the saying goes, "a picture is worth a thousand words" and sometimes those photos can mean the world to some people. Pictures show our past, our history, what made us who we are today. Pictures show those rare moments that some people hardly remember in their minds and can sometimes show our flaws. Although now the world has advanced in technology and all of our photos are digital, they still capture the precious moments that we all have. This blog post really touched me, it shows peoples passion, love, and caring for others and shows that every moment in one's life is precious and should be treasured.
Posted by: Rodel Llanes | November 30, 2009 at 10:25 AM
Pictures are the best way to capture the liveliness of happy moments and cherish those memories forever. I also think that the dead should be left to rest in peace. We cannot photograph a dead person because you do not have his/her permission anyway. I would not want to see my dead grandpa’s face jumping out from the pages of my album. My favorite pictures are all usually from my family time that is well spent.
Posted by: Adit M. | November 30, 2009 at 05:19 PM
I know a girl who just lost her baby boy. I know that it is really hard for her, and lately she's been putting tons of pictures of her baby on her facebook page. I think the nurse actually took alot of them. So I know that going through something like this is extremely hard and that pictures somehow help in ways. I think it's just the role of a mother that likes those pictures. Always caring.
Posted by: Samantha Hill | December 29, 2009 at 05:47 PM
I agree completely; pictures have a way of capturing the beauty, sadness, and all other types of emotions that cant as easily be recalled in just memories. I take pictures of everything to capture moments I want to remember, and to share with others. Pictures can save emotions and details that can fade in memories.
Posted by: Alyssa Ledesma | December 31, 2009 at 05:14 PM
I watched this video and ended up in tears. Thank you for sharing this story. I think it's tremendous how alot of us Americans just want to help and be there for one another and support each other.
Posted by: Aleksis Landers | January 06, 2010 at 11:02 PM
Fantastic blog! I agree that photos have a magical effect on all persons. They can bring back bad memories or good ones. I cherish many photos of my younger days with me and my family near the Christmas tree. It brings back feelings of security and warmth. We can't necessarily touch what was in the photo, but we can remember the memories.
Posted by: Dess | January 13, 2010 at 10:55 AM
I chose this article because I love photography, and upon completing reading it, I can say that this is a truly amazing article. I cannot agree more with the author that the way we choose to view a photograph, will affect what we are able to take away from a given photograph. Admittedly, before I read the article, I thought to myself, this seems strange, and quite honestly, creepy. Why would anyone want to photograph the dead? By the end of the article, I was trying to hold back tears. As I grew up, I attended the funerals of many family members who had passed on. Out of these many funerals, not one was an open casket. When I attended funerals, they were either at a church, where their body was not present, or at a graveyard, where it had already been buried. If I were to have attended an open casket funeral growing up, my mother would not have permitted me to see the body of the person who had already moved on. This is what created my shocked reaction to the concept of not only someone looking at a dead infant, but photographing it. However, by watching the video in the article, I can see how truly happy the parents are to have these photos, and it is not about the fact that the child in the photo has just passed on, but that the moment itself existed. I learned that there is really nothing dark or strange about these photos at all. These photos represent the hard work and dedication of the volunteers who took them, as well as their respect in wanting to help in this indescribably difficult experience for parents.
This concept, of looking at photos without any preconceived judgments really has a lot to do with the sociological perspective; looking at something for it, in and of itself. Looking at a photo and obtaining “beginner’s mind,” can almost be a sort of healing method for the way we view others, and everything around us. It creates a refreshing perspective in that we are not applying any preconceived ideas when we view the object, or subject at hand. We are simply taking it to mean what we think it means, by looking at the object and the object alone. At first, when I realized the photos were of a child who was no longer alive, I thought it was morbid. However, going back and viewing the photos with a beginner’s mind, I can now see the child may have just been easily sleeping. Even knowing that the child in the photo has passed on though, looking at it, I no longer want to immediately turn away. I can see the picture for its beauty and the intense simplicity of the nature of its reality, and the peace it brings every time parents look at it.
Posted by: Brianna | April 13, 2010 at 07:51 PM