Interpersonal Interactions: The Erosion of Sociability?

By Sally Raskoff

Have you ever noticed how people interact with one another in everyday settings? I was at a restaurant recently and the busy salad bar got my attention and awakened my sociological imagination. As people jockeyed for position and access to their favorite veggies, I noticed that how we take turns with people—especially those whom we do not know—can tell us much about the social setting in which we live. 

Sociologically speaking, turn-taking behavior involves a set of norms that guide our behavior and allows something as complex as society to exist. When those norms are followed, we have social order; when these norms are breached or otherwise disrupted, we have some chaos in our social order.

During my recent salad bar observation, I observed diners following some gender and age- related norms. Men, especially older men, let women go ahead of them in line if they arrived at the bar simultaneously. Some younger men jumped the line to get their plates full before their male peers. Most women held back and let others in, no matter who the other diners were. Most older people were more accommodating and let the younger people in, except for one much older man, who evidently felt he’d paid his dues and went right for the carrots. A middle-aged woman talking on a Bluetooth cell phone filled her plate, oblivious to others around her.

When people jumped the line, most reacted by scowling or shaking their heads to express their disdain; few people actually said something to the norm breaker. When two younger men elbowed in to get their croutons, the mostly older crowd shook their heads in a more understanding way, as if to say “Boys will be boys.”

The norms operating here, based on gender and age, reflect the power differences that different groups experience in our society. Overall, men were more assertive in their positions at the salad bar and women were more accommodating. Young adults were more forceful in filling their plates before others compared to the older people. Much research exists to document the primacy and privilege of men and youth compared to their subordinate counterparts of women and older adults. Thus, those with privilege were able to bend the typical norms of turn-taking and not suffer negative effects. 

When we notice norms operating in situations like these, there is typically some exception to the pattern, but this does not disprove the finding. For example, the one older man elbowed a younger woman because he felt entitled to his carrots. Thus, his gender privilege trumped his age disadvantage. The woman on the phone does present an exception to the pattern, but no behavior is ever 100% predictable, though. 

At the salad bar, the most pleasant interactions were between the women and older people. This was evident by the smiles and cordial words that they shared. 

I drove home from this setting pondering these norms. While driving, I quickly realized that the norms of turn-taking differ dramatically depending on the situation. Turn-taking norms while driving deal with merging into and out of lanes and at stop signs. It was very clear within a few blocks that pleasing or cordial driving was very rare no matter who was driving. Everyone wanted priority at the stop sign no matter who was on their right; drivers did not slow down to allow other cars to merge in front of them. 

At one freeway on-ramp, two lanes merge into one and several cars are all in the left lane, waiting to enter the freeway. As a car turns into the ramp and comes up the right lane, one of the cars in the left lane pulls out halfway and blocks their progress. One could interpret this in two ways, but both are attempts to repair a broken norm. 

First, the driver pulling out might have thought the other driver violated the turn-taking norm by jumping the line since all the cars on the left side patiently waited in line (even though there was another lane they weren’t filling). Second, the other driver might have thought the left driver was interfering with their turn since they blocked their path. Such interactions can lead to road rage incidents simply because people think others don’t follow the rules.

Social isolation in our cars gives us a feeling of omnipotence. We also do all sorts of things in our cars while driving that we would not do in the company of people. How many times have you seen someone picking their nose in the car next to you? This is not a rare activity.

Comparing salad bars and driving may seem an odd task. Certainly there are differences that impede such comparison. However, the main focus here, turn-taking norms, do apply to both situations and comparing the two helps identify what was going on with the cell phone woman at the salad bar. 

The physical isolation that technology affords us, whether through cars or cell phones, can erode the norms of interpersonal interaction. The woman on the cell phone at the salad bar is an example of this. While she was in close physical proximity to others, she did not interact with any people there. Others noticed her and saw her behavior as rather rude—she was the focus of some scowling facial reactions although no one dared ask her to get off the phone.

Sociology is a tool to make sense of everyday behavior. I’m happy to be part of this blog to share my observations and thoughts about how sociology helps us to understand the world. While I used norms and patterns of privilege and inequality to better understand behaviors at the salad bar and on the road, there are many other sociological concepts that could be useful for understanding these same situations. Be on the lookout in your daily life for patterns that you can analyze sociologically and don’t hesitate to try on a concept or two!

Comments

[Karen Sternheimer]

My sister was once driving down our street and an angry driver flashed his middle finger at her. It turned out it was a family member who didn't realize it was her! After that experience, I always think twice before interacting in a negative way with another driver!

[Amanda Larsen]

The two different social settings bring about different "norms". I find it interesting how someone who would otherwise not be so rude in a social setting finds it acceptable to be rude when he or she is alone in a car. Is it because they feel like they are untouchable in there car and too vulnerable around other people?

[Marta Alvira-Hammond]

I thought it was interesting that you described the old man's gender card as trumping the age card, as when reading your story I automatically interpreted it the other way around. I live in Madrid, Spain, a city and country with an enormous and growing elderly population, and with a lot of respect for senior citizens compared to places like the U.S. Elderly people frequently live on their own or with their children and grand children; they are much more active and are always out on the street; grandparents are often the secondary caretakers of children. I'm a 24-year-old woman. Sometimes I've had old men let me go ahead of them with a smile, but much more often seniors, regardless of gender, push me and anyone else aside, cut in front of us, mutter things under our breath, and throw a dirty stare to anyone that doesn't give up their seat for them on the Metro. They have a substantial sense of entitlement here, not always undeserved. I have wondered if they're becoming increasingly defensive because respect in the younger generations is waning, but I don't yet have the proof or statistics to back that up.

[Mark Yasaitis]

I truly believe that there is a serious breakdown in many of the more social graces that have governed civilized behavior for many centuries. The flipping of someone the finger is just a very small example of where our society is heading. We no longer hold doors for people, we cut each other off in traffic, we cut into line ahead of others that are waiting. You know that just maybe, if each and everyone of us were to take a moment and give the people we meet on the street a passing smile then just maybe, we could start getting back to some semblance of decent behavior to others.

[Melanie Wilkerson]

I think that advanced technology sometimes causes us to forget our manners...

[Jordan Lynch]

Some norms were that people were letting others get in front of them, the older men were letting women in front of them, and women were more acceptable to let others in front of them.

The older men were letting the women get in front of them and I think that just shows people how they were raised, and then you have the woman who was on the phone and she didn't pay any attention to anyone but herself so I think that shows how different times are now. I think that it implies that men still have the power no matter if they are polite but then they do know when they have had enough.

The people at the salad bar were more acceptable to letting people in then the people on the road. The people on the road just had to take charge and move in themselves were as at the salad bar people would offer to let in.

[Kim]

This is called irony. I agree that social interactions are more polite in person than on the interwebs; you only have to look at the comments section of any YouTube video to prove that point. Try it. No matter what video is playing, the comments eventually devolve into racist diatribes and remarks about Hitler. But I might be wrong. We seem to be seeing more of those kinds of comments out in the open lately. Health care reform anyone? Perhaps we can blame the loss of sociability on the isolation that the internet affords, but I find it wonderfully ironic that we can learn about it on a blog. And no, I'm not this sarcastic unless I'm by myself. Point proven.

[Caitlin Pryski]

Personally I feel that the so called "turn taking norm" is very hard to find these days. I definitely agree about the whole road rage issue because I think we'd all be lying if we said that we never once said or thought "where'd that person get their license". I will agree that there are certain situations and places where the "turn taking norm" is found. More commonly I beleive that you see it in smaller towns and formal situations. When I moved from a large city to a small-town and I do mean small town, I saw much more curtious behaviors in general.

[Reason]

I have witnessed the salad bar effect which is clearly described in the material. It is normal to experience this when you eat out at an all you can eat buffet, where the rules of service don’t apply. It is every man or woman for himself or herself, some are creatures of habit, some have no manners, some are very polite, and some really didn’t need the buffet at all. I perceived those habits as inherited traits of the individual’s upbringing. Never once did I relate the salad bar to the erosion of sociability. Slightly different, driving a car would be a self-taught talent. Each driver is in their own space demanding dominance on the highway. I have noticed that in different geographic locations driving conditions are somewhat better or worse. In Atlanta, GA, drivers are polite more so than drivers in Jacksonville, FL, but here in the South it is every man or woman for himself or herself. In reality, driving and eating, could be one in the same from the every man or woman for himself or herself perspective. I do agree that gender and age play a big role in each.

[Jessica Russ]

I think that people are becoming very rude everywhere. It seems peolpe only care about themselves and are not concerned with respect.

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000259315178]

While observing some of the norms at the sald bar the author saw that older men were more gentlemen like towards women, by affording them the oppertunity to go before them in the line. Then on the other hand you had the younger group of individuals who was not so courteous and barged their way into the line. Then there was the women who in this case most of them alloted others the oppertunity to go before them. In this situation these norms are typical. You would expect older gentlemen to allow women to go first versus younger gentlemen who is more careless and has less manners then older gentlemen, because I dont think manners and respect is pushed as much now as it was in the past. In most cases women tend to be more courteous and timid in these situations, its natural for a woman to be courteous, because she is expected to act ladylike. Most younger indiviuals don't have any sense of respect and everyone is pretty much out for themselves nowadays. The woman on the cellphone just gives and example of people who dont have respect for other indviduals and do things without being aware of their surroundings.
In todays society its people are out for themselves and dont care how it affect other people's lives.
Driving is a totally diffrent social enviroment than the sald bar. People are rushing trying to get where they need to be, so the pull the dominace game. Every driver for themselves. Whether it's cutting an individual off, not allowing someone to get over, or flicking someone off, its jsut a part of how we express our dominance while driving.

[Aressa Blackmon]

I think this is a normal everyday situation. It depends on what environment you was raised in. This article is a good observation.

[Kayla Eldridge]

I also notice the everday "norms" in salad bars, checkout lines, traffic, church, school and it really is interesting how for the most part, when you are in direct contact with other individuals you act differently than you would when you are disconnected from them in traffic or a similar environment.

[David]

I agree.

[J. Sellars]

Watching for norms and norm violations can be fun. I was raised "old school" and know to respect my elders. It seems that it is really becoming more and more common to find actions out of the norm and this is sad and scary at the same time.

[Shannon Joiner]

I think that this shows the difference in how people were raised. The older gentlemen showed respect to the women and children because that is what his mother taught him. The women did what all women try to do and make peace and wants everyone happy. and then there was the women talking on the phone and the boy that just skips in line, this is the "NOW" we as a society have lost that traits of our parents/grandparents and it is all about us and what is conveint for us in that time frame. The same about the driving most drivers dont even know the correct laws or cortsey they are all in a hurry and they are going to cut off whom ever they need to inorder to get to their destination.

[K. Flora]

I think the more technologically advance we become as a society, the less social, and cordial we become as a whole. Greater technology leads to greater isolation, and less ability to interact with the world around us.

[Dustin C Patterson]

I am a whole lot more polite at a salad bar then i am with merging traffic. My rule with traffic is to allow one car in and that's it. If everybody allowed one car in front of them there would be no problem. However at a salad bar i allow every body in front of me except for other alpha males

[Angela Williams]

The norms that were presented are pretty accurate from what I have personally seen. It is funny how when face to face with people, we tend to behave ourselves and have courtesies verses being isolated in our cars where we feel protected and we pretty much can act however we want. The elderly, as I also believe, were raised more proper in their days more so than today's generation. Today's generation lacks for the most part, good manners and courtesies.

[Wes Johnson]

People, no matter what gender or age group, act differently in the two settings of a salad bar and while driving. I think at the salad bar, your have a better oppurtunity to observe the differences of gender and age by the way to act when they are face to face with each other. On the other hand, when someone is in a car, they may seem less contious of what other people think. They aren't face to face. It's like subconsciously they think they can hide their idenitity while in a car, allowing them to get away with something otherwise they wouldn't do, causing them to act differently.

[Brandie Hiser]

Personally, I feel that as the older generation (usually having greater morals and respect for others) fades more people will break social norms. Many people are simply becoming desensitized and apparently a lot of people think they are the exception to every rule.

[Kelsey Bohannon]

It is true that watching people in everyday settings can tell alot about social norms. We as a society do believe that women should go first and men second. I also agree with the comment above about how as the oldest generation dies out new norms will be created because respect, character, and honesty seem to be fading.

[Whitney Barton]

I loved your comparison between the salad bar and driving. It really is interesting that when people are forced to interact with one another they put on their smiles and try to be cordial, however take away that scenario and put yourself in a car all alone and like you said you see how people really act when they think no one is looking because you are "isolated"

[Tiffany Straub]

I find it interesting what you can see and realize when you step back. It's very discerning to me when I've stood in line at a salad bar or buffet and someone butts in front of me and the same feelings go with someone who cuts me off or goes out of turn while driving. I find most amusing in my life where most people hold everyone else to the social norms but themselves. They will scoff at the line jumper, but they just cut someone off on the freeway to get to the restaurant. We all hold different standards we apply to everyone else but ourselves. Probably why people condone picking their nose in their cars but find it disgusting to see others do the same.

[Shafton Thomas]

Very interesting in way you compared the salad bar to driving, I never would have thought of this in that way.

[Khameed]

Taking turns for some people is very easy for others it is not. In different age ground the manners vary. Middle age men at the salad bar where more polite to ladies and younger kids about letting them go ahead first yet, they where ashamed at the way young adult men were breaking and fighting over food but they were understanding about it. The women were a bit more polite and let anyone take a turn at the salad bar. Taking turns is not the same in every situation such as a driver letting one in to make a turn, some drivers are in a hurry to get every where they have to go and refuses to let anyone in. They could cause an accident. Like at the salad bar if you bump someone’s plate it would fall on the floor on the other hand you cut some one off trying to get into traffic you kill them. Some people do don’t have patience to wait on others and create more problems. If they only slow down a minute to take a turn things would run bit smoothers.

[sgortney2102]

Its interesting the author chose a junction comparison to represent these particular social interactions. Its not until two or more individuals come to a common point and must interact that we see posturing and privilege shown in behavior. The rules change depending on the individuals involved and their understanding of the social norms for that particular situation. As far as the woman on the blue-tooth headset, she was intentionally ignoring the known norms to gain access priority. The woman also played upon the social respect norm of not interrupting a conversation in progress. This is a misuse of personal privilege in my opinion. The age and gender of the persons interacting tells us much about the values instilled from the home. Older men may step aside allowing a woman to precede him as a courtesy, unlike the younger boys. The tones and words shared among them, in a patients testing situation, maintained a civil attitude. All this is due to face to face interpersonal communication: body language, tone, vocabulary, interpretation.

Unlike the salad bar, the actions of individuals in a vehicle can be completely different due to the lack of face to face interpersonal communication. Isolation from the other person on the road gives a sense of superiority and importance in that individuals personal space. Infringement upon another persons (self-assigned) priority may be met with hostile actions. Although these actions are frowned upon in society, it is the individuals mentality that will determine the norms for distance interaction in a moving object.

[jl7070]

I never looked at those sort of things in that kind or perspective. I work in a pharmacy and the old people like to come and try to jump ahead of the younger ones because they to think they have earned the privalege of doing so. being out in public around a lot of new people can be very uncomfortable so one person waits on another to make the first move, but being in a car can be very frustrating.

[cholt3011]

It shows how everyone is raised differently. In my opinion everyone should been raised like the older gentlemen, because that generation was taught manners and the younger generation does not care about anyone, but themselves. I know I was raised with manners and I plan on teaching my girls manners and respect for the elders. It was very interesting that the author compared the salad bar and driving, I would never would have thought about that.

[dmoore0832]

In most cases it is normal for you to let elderly people ahead of you. Many of us are taught to do so. We are also taught not to break line or cut anyone off. In this new day and age however, we are more like the lady on the cell phone. We move about in our own little world not communicating with anyone who is not on our phone. Many people continue to talk on their phones as they do all kinds of activities.Lots of people only care about themselves and what they want. Driving has become a challenge. No one cares who got there first or who is entitled to go. Many people will not let you in front of them or even change lanes to let you merge into oncoming traffic. The social norms that use to be are rather quickly coming to an end. People do not respect the elderly or care about your gender. No one is asking people to get off their cell phones and interact with them. The common courtesy my mother and grandmother taught me has virtually become obsolete.

[Matt Ritten]

I think with technology we can get out of rhythm with Interpersonal Interactions. Our world today is so consume with technology that we forget to show manners and we also become lazy.

[dthomas6104]

“Our individual lives cannot, generally, be works of art unless the social order is also.”
Charles Horton Cooley
chivalry and ccommon courtesy i feel are like a rainbow nice to see but never sticks around. I point to no one we have as a people are the killers of chivalry red hands and all if you think i am wrong how often do you hold the door for the person behind you or how often do you thank someone for just doing their job any type of servie? ( a keyboard left in red)

[A. Santillan]

The norms that were observed were the age and gender. These played a big role because in men the older ones will let the ladies first while the younger ones only cared about themselves. The woman let people in front of them and I think a big part of this is because we always let men be above us. So we move to the side and humble ourselves. Even though women have came a long way I still think we dont get the respect we should get for our hard work. I see the boys as the men we had a long time ago who though they were more then woman. And as for the older men I see they have learn from what society is today and respect a woman by letting her go first. At the salad bar she saw age and gender but on the road she saw different people trying to get where they were going fast. Some not caring about the law and others following every rule there is. being in a car is different because you really dont have a voice. And in the salad bar you have a voice but most of the time out of politeness we dont use it.

[Jaleesa W.]

Some of the norms the author abserved at the salad bar were that men let the women go ahead of them except for the younger men. Older people let the younger people go ahead and women tended to wait their turn. In todays society, men are more assertive, young adults are more forceful, but the priviledged often break these norms. While driving the author saw that everyone was for self. No turn-taking. Drivers wouldnt even slow to let cars merge.

[Kimberly King]

I think the difference between the salad bar observation and the car observation varies due to the way we are brought up in our homes. When we are eye to eye like at the salad bar we are often more polite because nobody wants to be seen as rude. That would make us the bad guy. Nobody wants to be seen as the bad guy. When we are isolated in our cars we drop our pretense because we fill like we are not seen. There when we feel alone and isolated our real feeling and attitudes prevail and we dropped our social habits. When we are driving its really up to feelings,like if you mad, fustrated or good mood determine how we drive. If the situation dictatates like if we are late for work,or an important activity, engagement etc. I strongly believe that is what determines how we drive that day or any other

[bmurray0470]

Personally,I was always taught to do un to others as others do un to you. Well by reading this article I believe that we, as people cannot change the way others act in public but we can control the way that we act. If im at a resturant and i began to go for a plate or just say grab a spoon fill my plate, well if another person is going for the same thing then i just tell them excuse me go ahead. That's just something i do out of respect for that other person.
With the car situation i can't even say there's a right or wrong situation because i'm guilty of it all i've cut people off or blocked people from getting in front of me only because it has happened to me in the past and it still does so therefore i just go with the flow in which ever circumstance it may be from road rage to just simple manners in a resturant.

[John Cockerham]

I believe the social order between the salad bar and driving are very different but under the same principal. Yet while driving, people are rude and inconsiderate compared to the salad bar. Most people are considerate because someone can see them. Most drivers dont care either because they believe they run the road, or they feel that they should go first or always have the rightaway.

[Abell4570]

The author observed the different behaviors of age groups and genders to form a general "norm" of salad bar behavior. There were a few that fell out of the norm, but more were in the groups. Like women and older people were grouped together as being more polite. Where as men and younger people were grouped together as being more aggressive. I think that the norms between the two situations were so different because one was face-to-face human interaction. The other was more shielded and protected because they did not have to talk to the other driver.

[sean goodman]

the bluetooth situation is a classic example of technological entitlement, and even a small timid man can feel like a giant depending on what vehicle he drives.

[K. Stovall]

The author observed the norms that men, especially older men, were more courteous when it came to letting women in front of them. Younger men, however, tended to jump line and try to fill their plates before their male peers. Most women held back and let others in, no matter who it was.

These norms can explain a lot in our every day lives. Older men and women generally have better manners in situations like these. Women tend to be more shy and timid, while a man tends to have more power in society. Different societal groups have different power based on gender and age.

The norms she observed at the bar were so different from the ones she observed while driving because, as the author stated, technology isolates us personally. When technology interferes, we typically tend to think more for ourselves than for others. People are less courteous because it is a much less personal situation.

[J Turley]

I truly think that the way we act is the way we were raised. Your parents, grandparents, and any other person in your life affect the way you behave in certain situations!

[Npatty1291]

This Passage shows how society is changing and how it is evolving. Elder men were immensely more curtious to women. But younger males were much different than there elders.

This womens observation showed that the ageing of men change their viewpoints from young and dumb to much more conservative manners. It also outlined that technology is reforming how men and women operate.

The women on her bluetooth headset could be considerewd being rude by the elder generation, but the younger generation was prolly alot more accepting of this manner. I dont believe this is an erosion of sociability but, i do believe it is rapidly changing.

[Courtney Armstrong]

The norms at the salad bar are unwritten rules of course. As far as age and gender goes these norms are followed by everyone , everyone in our American society that is. The norms are that a younger man allows an older woman to go ahead of him. A girl and boy of same young age go as they fall in line. But the older man will allow for no one to go ahead because he has done enough in society. The woman should find it a norm breaker to not be allowed to go in front of a man. The norms here are a direct reflection of the norms in society period.Example: older people feel immune to norms of any kind because they are senior citizens but the younger woman or man is cautious to prevent any social displacement.

[Ethan Turner]

I think that it is really neat to watch how people will act when they have to go to places they are not use to. I have a friend who is very talkative,and open, but when he is in a crowd he acts shy,and quiet. Its strange, but I guess that is just how he reacts to being in a particular place. Its odd to me how someone can go from being loud and friendly to being isolated and alone, just because of where they are at. I believe that people will act different in some places because they are just uncomfortable in that place.

[N pullum]

my thing is that I always let females go ahead of me in anything that that I do, its juts how I was raised to be a gentleman

[Joshua wade]

these were interesting observations, i would of never thought of some of the stuff the writer wrote about very enlightening.

[Ebony J]

I think that is very interesting how the young people where so rude I think its all about good manners and a good attitude when i go anywhere in any line i make sure that i open the door for people who need help and just have good manners its very respectful and it shows the other person that i am a thoughtful person

[Sarah Connell]

Like every situation in life you will encounter polite people and rude people. The rude people may not believe they are being rude. I think another factor at the salad bar would be how hungry a person would be at that time. That would affect my amount of politeness. I would still be nice, but more impatient.Woman do accommodate more probably because they have to when they have children.Men generally are polite toward women and let them go first. When it comes to driving people are different.Somebody you never would have thought could have road rage. It just depends on the person. They could be late for work or just got into a fight.That would probably affect how you normally drive.

[Jody Nixon]

I feel that the way people react depend on how they are raised as far as manners go. Maturity also contributes as a factor younger people may cut in line not knowing any better. Older people may let people cut in line just being polite.

[Cathy]

One of the norms the author observed at the salad bar was that of males allowing females to go ahead of them, younger males jumping ahead of people, young girls on the phone. All of these also show different levels of sociological perspectives from respect, care-free attitudes. The drive home shows how people are caught up in everyday living and in such a rush that they forget about being courteous or respectful in anyway.

[Tristen Loyd]

I noticed that, when driving, people are more aggressive than they would be if they were face-to-face. Because we are in out cars, we think are entitled to break the law, scream and yell at people, and act inexcusable to people. Just because we drive doesn't mean we are god, and have the right to take over, even if it was our go. That's the problem with people today, they have no respect for themselves and in turn have no respect for anyone else.

[Chase Cotton]

Some of the norms the author mentioned at the beginning of this article included her observations that older men allowed women to go ahead of them in line, younger men tried to jump ahead of their fellow male peers to fill up their plates, and younger women were more reserved in their approaching the buffet. These norms work together to collectively create social order in the environment. The older individuals at the buffet were more reserved and mature while some of the younger individuals acted like ravenous wolves. Men tended to be more assertive than women in the situation. This situation differed from the drive home in that the people when in their own cars seemed to have a feeling of omnipotence. Each individual driver was only concerned about themselves and the passengers they were carrying.

[Sunnie Norris]

I found it intresting in the fact that people of different age groups and genders acted differently in the two situations. In the two differnt settings poeple seemed to react differently. When the people were in their cars they seemed to be a bit more vocal then the ones at the salad bar. I also found it intresting in the fact that while driving, poeple just automaticqally felt like they needed to get to the stop sign first. I think that goes along with how competitive our culture is. At the salad bar, gender roles seemed to show through the best. Woman were more accomidating while men were more assertive. Younger poeple filled thier plates up before others. There were many norms observed at the salad bar. One was that men let woman go ahead of them simutanously in the line, women let anyone in front of them regardless of who they were. Older people were also very accomidating other than one older man who felt he had paid his dues and went ahead in line. This just goes to show that in different situations, gender and age play into reactions without even realizing it!

[mhunter1569]

I look at the salad bar event as everyday life situations. Some people are very curtious while others just don't care of others, to me that's an act of selfishness. I don't at all believe it's the way one was raised, althrough that plays a major part in ones social behavior. I hope I explained erosion of sociability.

[Jewell Johnson]

hopefully when you get older you are wiser and have more self control. People are very interesting. I think the lady on the bluetooth was probably alone. A lot of times people do not like to be alone and bacause of technology you never really have to be by yourself.

[Karen Lane]

Going back to respect, everyone is learning from games and the internet. We are not learning any respect at all. Parents do not raise their children with the respect that they were raised in. We all need to learn how to respect each other like back in the day when my grandmother spoke or smiled at everyone she met going down the road or buying groceries.

[Mitzi Sims]

I have experience someone jump in front of me at a restaurant whlile I was in line at the salad bar. And when that happen I got really mad and just looked at that person. I feel like people should not be so rude and be more kind.

[bmabry3509]

Some of the norms the author observed at the salad bar was that of older men allowing women to go ahead of them, younger men jumping ahead of people. I think it all has to do with the way people are raised.

[bedgeworth4976]

People are more likely to venture outside the norm when they feel protected(via distractions). Whether you're on the phone in a social setting, or driving in your car, you become somewhat oblivious to your surrondings and the reactions of others.

[Emiley Cox]

He was talking about the difference between the men and woman and elders and children, how they all interact differently with one another. Of course some of the first to go in line were the elders. Children are also few to go in line ahead. As well as woman. Poor Men!The differences with the "norms" at the salad bar and the ones driving is that in a car you feel more along and yourself. If its normal for you to scream and yell then when somone pulls out in front of you you will probably scream and yell. But, when in public, well most of the time, people seem to have more manners and scream and yall in a restaurant. Well just mayne not out loud!

[t. davis]

I think that a lot of our social norms are based on how we were raised. Older generations(men and women) believed in respect whereas the younger generations seem to think that it's every man for himself. The difference in the norms at the salad bar and while driving is mainly due to a person's comfort level. When most people are in public they are unsure about their surroundings so they tend to act more cautiously. When someone is in their car they feel as though the other person can't do them any real harm so they choose to be insensitive.

[A Daugherty 0832]

Society has changed so much over such a short period of time that one may find it difficult to define the "norm" of society. People's interactions with each other from an outside perspective may not be the same each time with the same individuals. How people interact with each other varies not because of chivalry, but because society is now such a fast paced setting one may find it difficult to feel comfortable and relaxed around any one person. Elderly people are a completley different culture because of chivilary. One may say chivalry is dead because of the independent women today, however elderly people are more apt to be more courteous to each other than younger ones because younger women are now insulted by a gentleman as opposed to the "old fashioned" way of doing things because of how they were raised and were probably raised to not be dependent on men.

[t. davis]

Social norms are constantly changing with each generation. It seems as though with every generation moral values and respect are slowly disappearing. In earlier years respect was given whereas now you basically have to take it to get it. The salad bar and the road trip are prime examples of both situations.

[karen]

i know why do we find our behavior so acceptable but we get upset when others do not excuse theirselves or even hog the entire isle at wal-mart while they catch up talking with an old friend ..i get really upset about this one...

[Lamonica Carson]

I find this blog to be quite interesting although sociology is not really my thing. It got me to thinking about things i normally dont think about. This blog is true though. When i got to buffets or whereever with my family and friends, i observe the same things there, whether im sitting down watching it happens or in the mix of the action. i just havent thought about these behaviors in that sense. Driving..i never thought of it that way. It was either "good people" or "bad people." Most i think would be bad people. Not character, but actions. No one said you had to be in a rush to go anyhere. Being in a rush could cost you your life.

[Tiffany Sandiford]

I think this blog is very true, especially about the buffet portion of the blog most older men and women of all ages will not mind if someone jumps ahead of them and I think it is just the way they were raised. I can't say the same about drivers, driving brings the worst out of everyone.

[Miranda]

Funny.... I agree in that being a woman myself. I will allow other to go before me and respect my elder. I love the idea that yes when we are alone certain behavior that we wouldn’t necessary perform in a social setting will display itself. After reading this blog, I will most earnestly observe life situation differently

[Jasmen]

sociological interactions can be noticed everywhere we go especially in eating settings

[Sarah Oblinger]

Some of the norms at the salad included men let women go ahead of them in line, most women held back and let others go in front of them and younger men cut in front of other males. Sociologically speaking the norms at the salad bar based on age and gender reflect the power differences in our society. Take for example if a wealthy person was to see a poor person the wealthy person would keep their distance, not even saying much because to a wealthy person who only values money poor people are considered untouchables. Meanwhile you have a middle class person and a poor person and they identify with one another. They find common ground because they can emphasize with each other. The norms observed at the salad bar are so different from the norms while driving because at the salad bar people had face to face interaction. While driving you have limited interaction. Most people are holding a conversation with whom ever is in the car, or on the phone, listening to music, etc. There are so many distractors people do not pay attention to the road where as when you are face to face with someone there is more social activity.

[J. Johnson]

The observation at the salad bar is interesting; I have noticed things like this at public places also. The older generation usually is more respectful and patient than the younger generation. I believe the reason you see this in public places more often is because you realize that you are being watched, looked at, or observed. Therefore people respond different in these circumstances. Although when you are riding alone in your car, you don’t realize the other person in the car next to you is actually watching you so you end up showing your true colors. I believe it boils down to how people are raised.

[Albert Scott Jr]

One reason I believe young men were abrupt at the salad bar is due to their upraising. The generation now did not grow up the same as the previous. Chivalry and common courtesy was something that was practiced heavily and it seems as society is moving away from it.
The older generation is more acceptive of the rudeness because they don't want to deal with it. They'll probably shake their heads and speak amongst each other rather than confront the person.
Most women are nurturing and forgiving which speaks for why they weren't assertive at the salad bar. However, there a some who are very outspoken and fiesty.
This is a very interesting article/blog that is pretty accurate about gender and age interactions in society.

[K Milligan]

Some of the norms in this observation are men allowing women to go ahead of them, younger boys racing to the food before their peers, women allowing people to cut them in line. These are examples of the social behaviors we are taught growing up. Respecting your elders, women are supposed to be caretakers, men tending to women, younger men fighting for their food. People behave in the ways so not to break social norms. That is why there is such a difference in the authors observations from the salad bar to their drive home, people tend to behave more in public and as the author addresses people feel alone in their cars.

[rhonda]

I think as time change people change. People used to be very polite but now they dont care about who they hurt.

[Belstaff Abbigliamento UOMO]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

[nancy moxica]

this was interesting because it is so true what it says many people do no think about manners any longer they just think of the moments anger or the reaction of the moment and the media has a big part in this as well.

[jeffrey haro]

1. Do you believe, as the article claims, that most of us are hard core, rabid conformists?
I believe that the majority of society is willing to conform to social norms. As the article shows there are different roles that everyone plays in society. This article in particular talks about old people, young men, and women interacting at a salad bar. Following these social norms creates social order however when people do not follow the norm some chaos emerges. The article also explains that technology such as cars and Bluetooth devices build social isolation. Social isolation allows for norms to be disregarded. So there are a few instances where people are not rabid conformists due to other social factors.

How do students help to encourage other students to follow norms within a classroom?
Students encourage other students to follow norms within a classroom in both positive and negative ways. One example is when a student is talking during class and another student asks him if he could be quiet. That would be enforcing the social norm that students should be quiet and paying attention during their lecture. Another example is when a girl and a boy arrive at a door at the same time the male student should allow the girl student to exit first.

[Prudencio Lua]

It is very interesting to see when people follow norms and when they break them. When people are in a resturaunt they tend to be more polite then when they are driving. It seems evident that certain situations have specific norms. Where you are and the social class of the people in the area also determine the norms that are typically followed. There still seems to be an issue in some instances, some people dont care if they break a norm and people cant believe their actions.

[Hilda Correa]

I do believe that, people take inconsideration norms especially when there out in society, and if a person doest follow norms people tend, to get mad or look at them different because there not fowling the norms. Students help to encourage other students to follow norms by, telling someone to be quiet because the teacher may be talking, or being polite to the girls because thats what they've been told to do in public. Know theres also other ways like when a teacher has rules in a poster reminding the students of what to do and not to do in her class. As well seeing other students doing good norms, it tends to help you remember what is right to do inside a class.

[Leydi Rivas]

I don't agree that most people are hardcore, rabid conformists. They are more like angry conformists, it seems. They have certain expectations and norms that have been engraved in their social thinking that when they see someone disrupt the norm, they get angry. Some go as far as to insult that person for a rule that techincally does not exist.
An examply showing how students encourage others students to follow norms in a classroom is by telling them to keep quiet while the teacher is lecturing or giving out instructions. It shows the norm of courtesy toward teachers and classmates that should be given in a classroom.

[Gino Lee]

Professor PIH

In public people tent to conform because they do not want to be the person that stands out, but I think everyone breaks norms in their own way. In public people are rabid conformist but at home i think they break certain norms.
If you see all the students doing what they are suppose to do your not going to want to be the student that stands out. Therefor you must conform to what all the other students are doing.

[Victoria Langham]

I believe that all people are conformist of some sort. We adapt ourselves to what society views as appropriate. We fear standing out or disrupting the norm of day to day life. When we are "behind closed doors" we tend to break our habits. We do things we wouldn't do in front of society. When in the presence of other students we tend to go with the flow of what everyone else is doing. If everyone is complaining how much they hate their class and how much of a waste of time it is chances are that the other students will agree in avoidance of standing out.

[merge pdf online]

Interesting one !!