Baby Bumps and Big Reveals: Exploring the Gender Reveal

By Monica Radu

Gaining popularity during the baby boom, baby showers have been a hallmark of family celebrations for decades. These rituals are often filled with pastel decorations, gift-giving, and games that revolve around the joy of welcoming a new baby. Traditionally, these events were almost exclusively hosted by women and attended by female family members and friends, reinforcing long-standing gender norms around motherhood. The focus was on preparing the expectant mother for her new role and ensuring that she was equipped with the essentials for raising her newborn.

According to a January 2023 survey of 1,000 U.S. adults, baby showers rank as the sixth most popular social event, with 65% of Americans reporting that they have attended a baby shower at some point in their lives. In the past year, 22% of respondents reported going to a baby shower. The survey also highlighted a significant gender difference, with 80% of women having attended a baby shower compared to just 50% of men.

Typically, baby showers are centered on motherhood, underscoring the idea that child-rearing is “women’s work.” In fact, according to Pew Research Center, about a third of mothers report that being a parent is the “most important” aspect of their identity.  Baby showers became an opportunity for experienced mothers to share wisdom, guidance, and support, with a focus on nurturing both the mother and the baby. While the gendered nature of these events reflected broader societal expectations that women should bear the primary responsibility for childcare, the core purpose was to celebrate the new baby and help the mother prepare for her new role.

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in how we celebrate a baby’s impending arrival. Many parents now host both gender reveal parties and traditional baby showers, with gender reveal parties placing more emphasis on celebrating the baby’s gender rather than the baby itself. Unlike baby showers, gender reveals often include both men and women, and the focus is the “big reveal” whether the baby is a boy or girl. This trend raises several sociological concerns, particularly around how gender is understood and expressed.

Gender reveal parties can be traced back to 2008, when blogger Jenna Karvunidis shared her experience of cutting into a cake filled with pink icing to announce she was having a girl. Her blog post and pictures gained widespread attention, and the trend quickly caught on. However, in recent years, Karvunidis has expressed regret for starting the trend, acknowledging the unintended consequences of reinforcing rigid gender norms through these celebrations. This reflection opens the conversation about shifting focus back to celebrating the joy of new life, free from the constraints of outdated expectations.

The growth of social media, particularly platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, significantly contributed to the rising popularity of gender reveals. Parents began sharing their unique and often elaborate gender reveal events online, sparking a trend where increasingly creative and sometimes over-the-top reveals became the norm.

From a sociological perspective, the rise of gender reveal parties signals a troubling cultural change. Whereas baby showers once celebrated the baby and provided support for the mother, gender reveal parties place gender at the center of the celebration. This emphasis on gender—not as a fluid, socially constructed identity, but as a fixed, binary trait—can be problematic in several ways.

First, these events reinforce the idea that gender is biologically determined. Sociologists have long argued that gender is socially constructed, meaning that it is shaped by cultural norms and expectations rather than strictly biology. By focusing on the moment when parents "reveal" whether they are expecting a boy or a girl, gender reveal parties suggest that gender is an essential and unchanging aspect of a person’s identity, something that is established before they are even born. This view ignores the growing recognition that gender is fluid and that individuals should have the freedom to define their own identities as they grow.

The dramatic and highly publicized nature of many gender reveal parties often contributes to the reinforcement of traditional gender roles. The spectacle of gender reveal parties often invokes stereotypical ideas about what it means to be male or female, and these binary representations can limit the ways in which we think about gender. Additionally, the emotional reactions at these parties suggest that one gender might be preferred over another. When the "wrong" color appears, guests may express subtle (or overt) disappointment, sending a message that a child's worth or future is somehow tied to their gender.

In a time when sociologists emphasize the importance of inclusivity and diversity, gender reveal parties may feel like a step backward. Instead of allowing space for the child to grow into their identity, these parties impose a rigid understanding of gender on them before they are even born, highlighting how social institutions like family and rituals continue to reinforce gender norms.

While gender reveal parties may seem like a fun and exciting way to celebrate a pregnancy, they also bring to light deep-rooted issues surrounding gender in contemporary society. As we move forward, perhaps the focus should shift back to where it began, celebrating the joy and excitement of a new life, free from the limitations and expectations imposed by outdated gender norms.