Everyday Sociology Blog

The Balancing Act: Why “Showing Up” For Kids Matters, But so does Showing up for Work

By Monica Radu

If you've spent any time on TikTok lately, you've probably come across the "showing up" trend. It’s a feel-good trend where parents proudly showcase how they try to be present for their kids, whether it's for school events, games, or random day-to-day moments that mean the world to children. The message is heartwarming: being there matters, and kids notice when parents show up. I also know that research consistently suggests that parental involvement is important. But as a working mom, I can't help but feel a little tug of anxiety every time I see those videos.

The pressure to be physically present for every milestone or school event ties into the larger societal expectation that good parents—especially mothers—are always available. This isn't a new idea, but social media has amplified it, making it harder for working moms to ignore. These pressures align with the concept of intensive mothering, which demands that mothers devote immense time, energy, and emotional labor to their children, often at the expense of their own needs or professional aspirations. Whether it’s a holiday party or a preschool graduation, there’s an unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectation that we’ll be there. And while these moments are important, they often come at a cost.

The Case for Heartbreak Workplace Support

By Stacy Torres

Recovering from my own recent romantic breakups, I drew comfort from seeing one of the hardest working women in Hollywood take a break.

This spring as I walked to my office across the street from San Francisco’s Chase Center, Jennifer Lopez’s sparkling visage peered confidently from a giant advertisement for an upcoming show. Hours later, she canceled her summer tour amid poor ticket sales and rumors of marital problems with husband Ben Affleck, "taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends," according to Live Nation’s announcement. By summer’s end, J.Lo had filed for divorce on their two-year anniversary.

Most of us nurse our mangled hearts in private—for me, preferably while swaddled in a warm blanket—not under a celebrity microscope. But we should also have access to leave and other workplace support during relationship crisis or dissolution.

From “Fist-Pumps” to Fatherhood: The Evolution of Masculinity on “Jersey Shore” and “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation”

By Monica Radu

In the world of reality television, few shows have captured the evolution of masculinity quite like "Jersey Shore" (2009-2012) and its 10-years-later counterpart, "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" (2018-present). What began as a whirlwind of partying, drama, and stereotypical displays of masculinity has since transformed into a nuanced portrayal of manhood, showcasing growth, maturity, and emotional depth among the male cast members. This transformation also reflects shifts in cultural attitudes towards masculinity, as viewers witness the cast members navigating changing societal expectations and redefining what it means to be a man in contemporary culture.

The original version of "Jersey Shore" was notorious for its portrayal of toxic masculinity, with male cast members engaging in behaviors characterized by aggression, dominance, and hypersexuality. Toxic masculinity refers to a set of socially constructed attitudes, behaviors, and norms associated with traditional masculinity that are harmful to both men and society. These norms often emphasize qualities such as dominance, aggression, and the devaluation of traits traditionally associated with femininity. Toxic masculinity perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes and expectations about how men “should” behave, leading to behaviors that can be harmful to themselves and others, such as violence and the repression of emotions. It also contributes to the marginalization of individuals who do not conform to traditional gendered expectations.

Challenging Stereotypes in Unscripted Love Tales: A Reality Check through Symbolic Interactionism

By Dr. Monica Radu, Associate Professor of Sociology Department of Criminal Justice, Social Work, & Sociology, Southeast Missouri State University, [email protected]

The rise of reality TV has been nothing short of a cultural phenomenon, captivating audiences worldwide, including sociologists (like myself) who find themselves drawn to the intriguing social dynamics portrayed on these shows. So, what's the fuss all about? Why do sociologists, in particular, enjoy the reality TV craze?

Many reality shows serve as unintentional social experiments, placing individuals in unfamiliar and often challenging situations. Sociologists are keen to study how participants navigate these scenarios, unraveling insights into human decision-making, adaptation to change, and the impact of external pressures on behavior.

Gender, Sexuality, and Social Exclusion

By Karen Sternheimer

Recently politicians have continued attempts to police gender and sexuality through the passage of laws that seek to exclude and punish. It is important to consider why the attention to other people’s gender and sexual practices are part of public and political discourses, and why some people are the target of social exclusion.

For context: while laws attempting to limit transgender rights have dominated the last decade, criminalizing same-sex relationships is not by any means new, although new laws have been passed around the world in the past few years. Human Rights Watch maintains a list of criminal codes outlawing same-sex relations around the world dating back to the nineteenth century. Many laws criminalizing LGBTQ people were passed in the middle of the twentieth century. Why?

Having It All? Motherhood in an Increasingly “Planned" World

By Jenny Enos

Whether, when, and even how to have children are increasingly complicated questions facing women today. On the one hand, revived abortion debates and restrictive legislation in many U.S. states may mean forced motherhood for those who become pregnant; on the other, both cultural and financial pressures around motherhood are weakening. For the first time in history there are now more women than men in the college-educated workforce, meaning that fewer women are sticking to stay-at-home parenting, and our culture is increasingly starting to view motherhood as an option rather than as an expectation.

In addition to more financial and cultural freedom, accessible contraception has also made it possible for women to be more intentional about whether and when they want to have children than in the past. In 2018, an estimated 65% of U.S. women of reproductive age (those aged 15 – 49) were using some form of contraceptive method and there were no significant differences based on level of education. Whether they dropped out of high school or have a Ph.D., these women share one thing in common – most of them are taking active steps to control their fertility. These efforts have been successful, too: the rate of unintended pregnancies has seen a significant decline over the past two decades.

Death and Emotional Labor

By Karen Sternheimer

Since the pandemic started in 2020, I have “attended” three funerals online, two for elderly relatives who had cancer and one for the elderly father of a friend who had Alzheimer’s disease. Being thousands of miles away, the online option saved me the time and expense of making last-minute travel arrangements. I appreciated the privacy of watching the funerals alone, as I can get emotionally overwhelmed by other people appearing emotionally overwhelmed.

Of course, this is part of what the funeral ritual is for: to comfort the bereaved, and to be in a place where one can openly express sadness. In most social settings, there are unwritten rules that encourage us to stifle any impulse to weep uncontrollably. Typically, we try and hold back sobs and tears whenever possible. At a funeral such rules are loosened, but they still exist. This reflects Erving Goffman’s notion that we work to “regulate… face-to-face interaction” in his book Behavior in Public Places (p. 8).

A Role Model for Humanizing the Practice of Medicine: My Love Letter to Dr. Nema

By Janis Prince Inniss

Last October, I took my 90-year-old mother to her doctor's office for the seasonal flu shot. That shot is not given by the doctor, of course, but he came into the patient room to see her with great excitement! She was thrilled to see him, and there was no mistaking her grin beneath her mask. Dr. Nema (a pseudonym) told Mum how good she looked, complimented my pants, and when he saw my Saint Leo University mask, told me about some family members attending school there. Then, he invited my mother and me to return to the office the next month to have a physically distanced lunch with him.

Does this interaction with a physician seem typical to you? Do you have interactions like this with your doctor? How does this interaction square with what doctors are taught? Is Dr. Nema following prescribed physician-patient norms? Most of you, like me, find Dr. Nema’s behavior unusual among physicians regarding these questions. However, as a recipient of this style of practicing medicine, I can vouch for the benefits that this kind of behavior from a doctor can mean to a patient and the patient's family!

Finding New Normality, From Micro to Macro

By Karen Sternheimer

As COVID cases fall in much of the United States, many pandemic-era restrictions are beginning to loosen. From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) revised mask guidelines to local ordinances allowing businesses to fully open, many of us are working on discovering a “new normal” as we go from pandemic to post-pandemic living.

This readjustment takes place at a number of levels, from individual and family at the most micro level, to workplace and community at the meso level, and state, local, and federal policy level at the macro level. These shifts help remind us that we are part of a larger interconnected social system, one which the pandemic served to highlight.

Teaching in a Pandemic: The Good, the Surreal, and the Challenges of Teaching Sociology Online

By Colby King and Todd Schoepflin

In this podcast, Colby King and Todd Schoepflin share some of their experiences teaching this year. One example that stands out to Todd is the experience of teaching at home at the same time his kids had remote music and gym lessons. Home and work were blended in new ways. Instead of commuting from work and sitting in traffic, he could spend that time preparing dinner. Colby explains the consistent feeling of role conflict (“Am I a parent or professor?”) and feeling like he wasn’t thriving in either role. He also points to a valuable resource in his wife’s parents, who were able to help with childcare.