Everyday Sociology Blog

The Case for Heartbreak Workplace Support

By Stacy Torres

Recovering from my own recent romantic breakups, I drew comfort from seeing one of the hardest working women in Hollywood take a break.

This spring as I walked to my office across the street from San Francisco’s Chase Center, Jennifer Lopez’s sparkling visage peered confidently from a giant advertisement for an upcoming show. Hours later, she canceled her summer tour amid poor ticket sales and rumors of marital problems with husband Ben Affleck, "taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends," according to Live Nation’s announcement. By summer’s end, J.Lo had filed for divorce on their two-year anniversary.

Most of us nurse our mangled hearts in private—for me, preferably while swaddled in a warm blanket—not under a celebrity microscope. But we should also have access to leave and other workplace support during relationship crisis or dissolution.

Florida, Don’t Deprive Public College Students of the Opportunity to Develop their Sociological Imaginations

By Stacy Torres

Even though I’m a professor, sometimes I fantasize about going back to college. Everyone should have the chance to experience that electric feeling of discovery. General education requirements exposed me to worlds I scarcely imagined as the first person in my family to go to college. I remember the thrill of encountering new subjects such as philosophy, theology, Spanish literature, art history, ancient Greek and Roman history. Like many high school students, I’d never had the opportunity to take classes in the social sciences, including anthropology, economics, political science, psychology, and sociology.

I could have never predicted an introductory sociology course would change my life.

How I Became a Professor: My Parents’ Gifts for Pursuing the Impossible Dream

By Stacy Torres

 The good things of prosperity are to be wished; but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.

                                                                                                 –Seneca, Letters to Lucilius (28 CE)

Whenever I think about the winding path that led to my current position as a sociology professor, I can’t help but hear the lyrics of the iconic Talking Heads song, “Once in a Lifetime.” How did I get here?

How do any of us become who we are? As a sociologist who studies aging and the life course, the myriad influences that shape us on our life’s journey fascinate me.

“You Want to Work or You Want to Steal?” The Impossible Choices Migrants Face Without Work Authorization

By Stacy Torres

“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes,” said Mark Twain. And history is once again rhyming in the current migrant crisis. The most visible consequences of our broken immigration system have unfolded on New York City streets, where this summer hundreds of asylum seekers slept outside a midtown Manhattan hotel doubling as humanitarian relief center and overcrowded shelter. But this national issue transcends any single region, and the growing desperation offers a cautionary tale for communities across the country.

More than 100,000 migrants have arrived in New York City since spring 2022, with more coming daily.  The city reports housing more than 82,000 people, including nearly 30,000 children, with the mayor estimating shelter costs to reach $12 billion by 2025.

Researching Through Loss

By Stacy Torres and Brittney Pond

Brittney Pond is a PhD student at the University of California, San Francisco and is a Co-Assistant Director of the Emancipatory Sciences Lab

As qualitative researchers who study older adults and those who care for them, paid and unpaid, our own grappling with loss, grief, and illness surfaces for us throughout the research process, from conceiving a study to writing up results. Few road maps exist for navigating this form of scholarly emotional labor.

Why Doctors Don’t Want Patients Like Me, and How it Impacts all of Us

By Stacy Torres

People with disabilities experience substandard medical care, disrespectful doctor-patient interactions, and longstanding barriers to accessibility. A recent study published in Health Affairs helps explain why. 

When granted confidentiality in focus groups, doctors revealed personal aversion to and avoidance of patients with disabilities—patients like me. Their reasons ranged from prejudicial attitudes to the logistical and financial hurdles of treating patients with complex care needs.

Lonely at the Top: The Toll of “High Functioning” Depression and Our Pandemic Mental Health Crisis

By Stacy Torres

From the vantage of midlife, I’ve pondered social mobility’s toll on myself and others who’ve climbed from the poor or working-class into the professional class. I’ve spent my entire life developing a titanium outer shell, making myself strong and tough as poverty conspired to knock me off track. Skilled at powering through, I’ve worn my resilience like a Purple Heart. I had to fight. And fight. And fight.

But I’m tired of running to stay in place. At 42, I still spend considerable time quieting the inner monologue that says I’m not good enough. In my current position as an assistant professor of sociology, work and productivity remain intertwined with my identity and self-worth. Rejections can feel personally crushing. I’ve often dwelled on my failures, feeling like an imposter. Being hard on myself served me in the climb, but harmful perfectionism now yields diminishing returns.

The Right to Grief Without Diagnosis: Prolonged Grief in These Times is Normal

By Stacy Torres

I dreaded the recent one-year anniversary of my father’s death from lung cancer, sensing an expiration date on others’ patience with my grief. The recent inclusion of “prolonged grief disorder” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) — which defines “prolonged” as lasting at least a year for adults—heightened my apprehension.

Is my intense sadness a mental illness or just being human? Rather than pathologize ten percent of grievers that may fall into “prolonged grief,” what if we instead embraced slower grieving?